Please take a moment to thank the lovely people who made your the momentous occasion it was. Reston's birthday party was the place to be.
Of course, we have to give credit to the birthday girl herself. She looks pretty good for 47, doesn't she? It must be all those Farmers Markets and bike trails. Did you hear she's getting a Metro? Ssshh. It's a secret, so don't tell anyone.
Just between you and me, she has had a little bit of work done and her green space looks a bit higher and fuller than it did years ago (She says it's just "non-native species" but I think she's been landscaped).
Even so, she never lies about her age, and she refuses to fall for every passing architectural phase. She admits to a little mid-century spread and the constant struggle to keep her contemporary style contemporary, but is diligent to avoid being one of those communities of a certain age trying to pass herself off as new construction.
She thanks all of you for coming out this past weekend and helping her celebrate even though she cannot believe what she was wearing in 1972. Photographs of one's youth are always a bit awkward.
However, it now falls upon me to put a call out to the community for a few "housekeeping" matters. Apparently, some of you took the theme of "Reston Through the Decades" a bit more literally than we had hoped.
Congratulations on convincing yourselves that the Mercury Fountain is a time machine and that dancing in public is something you do regularly.
To wit, will the person who changed the sign to read "J. Brew" please get back here with a bucket of soapy water and some rags? We already returned your empty pony keg and we're keeping the deposit.
It would also be helpful if the two gentlemen who were fighting over the best frozen yogurt at the would apologize for the profanity they were spewing.
It's one thing to feel strongly that makes a superior product to that served over at . It is another thing to call someone with the opposing viewpoint a name which rhymes with .
Lastly, the clever soul who decided that the '90s had been insufficiently represented and decided to put flannel shirts on all the mannequins and replaced the iPads at the with Macintosh LC's is in a heap of trouble.
You can stop "Livin' La Vida Loca" now, chum, because it's 2011 and you are about to acquire a police record.
Now who's singing Can't Touch This, smart guy?