The . Everyone is excited to celebrate Robert E. Simon's birthday and the founding of our community. However, the residents of Lake Anne Village have asked that you all be aware of the following rules:
1) Do not drink from the lake, swim in it or dispose of your trash in it. Besides being harmful to the lake, these behaviors interfere with the state-of-the-art water-powered cooling system of nearly 500 residential units in the area. So, if tempted, just remember RELACC and don't do it.
2) There will be cake. It may or may not be gluten-free. It may or may not have been baked in a facility which processes peanuts. It may or may not be vegan. It is 100 percent not to be fed to the ducks.
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3) No shirt, no shoes, no party. No exceptions.
4) Not to put too fine a point on it, but this is Mr. And Mrs. Simon's actual place of residence so we should try to be gracious guests. Among other things, please be sure not to push Mrs. Simon aside in your effort to speak to her husband. He notices that behavior, as does she.
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5) Consider green options for transportation to and from the festivities. Carpool. Ride a bike. Walk or jog. No hot-air balloons. It gets crowded enough without people having to worry about you landing on them from above. Besides, it's a little tacky to draw attention to yourself like that at someone else's party.
6) Each of the lakes has its own unique features and points of pride. Lake Anne is the birthplace of our community and was inspired by the Italian lakeside village of Portofino. Bask in its modernist architecture and enjoy the timeless beauty. You can tell everyone about how what it really needs is a Sizzler some other day.
