Community Corner

Five Minutes With "Restonian"

Anonymous blogger keeps a snarky eye on Reston.

For three years, the blogger known as Restonian has been keeping watch over the New Town. He's been reporting the good, the bad and the ridiculous that goes on from Lawyers Road to Route 7, and all points in between.

Reston Patch and Restonian,  who prefers to remain anonymous, passed the peace pipe - OK, it was basket of bread sticks at Macaroni Grill - and agreed that Reston is now an official media market with both of us in town.


Q: You kid because you really love living here, right?

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A: Absolutely -- I wouldn't live anywhere else in Northern Virginia. For all the things it's easy to make fun of, it's astounding how much Reston got right in terms of creating a livable community that's mostly held up over the years.

Q: You keep a close eye on goings-on in Reston. What do you think the Master Plan Committee has in store for the place?

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A: A lot, though people need to realize that it's the decisions about specific development proposals that will really shape what Reston looks like in the coming years. The way the Wiehle Metro station proposal got rammed through is a perfect example. I doubt anyone's thrilled with the end result, but Fairfax County's hands were tied by its partnership with the developer and the reasonable desire to have something other than a muddy field awaiting Silver Line passengers when the first Metro train rolls in in 2013 or 2014.

Q: What is your favorite Design Review Board-approved color?
A: Russet Brown. I mean, really, is there any other choice?

Q: Have you ever swam in one of the lakes or done some otherwise flagrant disregard of RA rules?
A: No, but the previous owner of Restonian World Headquarters was apparently involved in a protracted battle with the DRB.


Q: What's the best "only in Reston" story you know?
A: Let's just say it involves two live goats, an unapproved carport, and a can of russet brown paint. But I've said too much as it is.


Q: Why the obsession with The Macaroni Grill? Do you have a problem with overpriced pasta? Besides, you can scribble on the tables with DRB-approved crayon colors. What's wrong with that?
A: I think my love for the Macaroni Grill is a matter of record. Will Reston Patch have a fancy Doomsday Clock counting down to its demise if and when the Spectrum Center is redeveloped? I think not. 


Q: Do you think there needs to be more places to get $6 frozen yogurt at the Town Center?
A: That, and cupcakeries. Bring them on!

Q: If Reston were a town, and you were running for mayor, what would your platform be?
A: More rock, less talk. And $6 frozen yogurts for all.

Q: Will the Metro make traffic worse or better around here? Do you think its arrival will quintuple your home value. like everyone says? If so, will you be moving to a mini-mansion in Ashburn?

A: I think it will initially be worse because of all the cut-through commuters from Loudoun who already treat Wiehle Avenue like an expressway. If and when the Metro finally slouches out to the particleboard developments west of Dulles, maybe that will change.

The problem is that even if nothing ever changed in Reston and the Silver Line never got further west than Tysons, the fertile particleboard developments of Loudoun would still continue to grow and we'd still get all the negative impact of growth without any of the positives. Like, you know, a Cheesecake Factory or something.

We're still waiting for Restonian World Headquarters to quintuple in value, but it's hard to compete with those fancy vinyl and three-sided brick places the people in Loudoun keep bragging about whenever I mention their pristine community on the blog.

Q: In your opinion, what are the seven architectural wonders of Reston?
A: Wow. Let's see. There's the 'ole distillery, which is on the 1/10th of a mile "scenic byway" someone at VDOT signposted one day when they were out of their minds.

Then there's the big box/strip mall grandeur of the Spectrum Center, whose fancy cladding and architectural "details" are a perfect example of the old adage about putting lipstick on a pig. On the other end of the spectrum, the old Hunters Woods shopping center had a nice post-apocalyptic, end-of-days feel about it in the years before it was torn down.

One of the statues at Lake Anne -- it doesn't really matter which one -- is actually called "The Sun Boat," which gives it a place of honor in its own right. The fake downtown has the same unreal 7/8 scale thing happening as Main Street USA at Disney World, which is impressive. And the off-the-shelf office buildings along the Toll Road make Reston look even more like it's on an airport service road. 
And of course, there's the lovely "pad" development known as the Macaroni Grill. Its loss would be like that of the old Penn Station in NYC.

Q: All kidding aside, what's your favorite spot in Reston?

A: Probably Lake Anne Plaza, in all its brutalist concrete splendor. Looking at the bizarre concrete sculptures that seem so improbable now is a reminder of how idealistically crazy it was to build this place where people of all backgrounds and incomes would live and work together in the 60s, back when most developments in Northern Virginia were still segregated, and how well it all worked out, warts and all. 


Or maybe the Macaroni Grill.

 


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