Born To Be Riled
The revolution starts now (but I do have to be home before Top Chef starts).
I’m not a Wisconsin teacher or a Libyan citizen, but I know how to raise a ruckus too. It’s a little trickier now than it used to be. I am more easily embarrassed than I once was and, because I am the parent of children who have set off the fire alarm at Udvar-Hazy Air and Space Museum, punched the Easter Bunny at M&S Grill in the, um, “colored eggs,” and jumped naked into the North Hills Pool, I am working harder to set a good example.
That doesn’t mean that I’m not above expressing my anger in a public fashion. I can and do protest injustice when I see it. I am flouting rules left, right, and center on the mean streets of Reston.
For instance, who determined that the Express Line at Giant is only for shoppers with 15 items or less? First of all, the grammatically correct expression would be “15 items or fewer.” Secondly, six yogurts, three bags of frozen peas, two boxes of cereal and five cans of corn should count as four items. Thirdly, I am staying in this line despite the allegation that I have 16 items because that is precisely how I roll. If it fits in a basket rather than a cart, then I am making the call that it goes express. How do you like me now, Goliath?
Here’s another way I’m making way for justice in Reston. I have remained in the same one-hour parking space at the Town Center for upwards of 70 minutes. If I have come to Jackson’s for their delicious salmon salad and am made to wait 25 minutes before I take my seat, then I do not think I should be compelled to rise from my sumptuous meal just so I can move my car. I am brazenly taking an extra 10 minutes from the oppressive regime. What are they going to do, put my picture on a "Wanted" poster? That would be a clear violation of the Code of Conduct. How’s that for hoisting them on their own petard?
Now that I am thinking about it, there were four days lays October during which the globe of my exterior light was not in place (as I broke it installing that awesome ghost for Halloween and Home Depot had to order a new one for me). Yep, you read that correctly. There was a nude light bulb showing in front of my personal home and I’m not even sure that it was one of those twirly, eco-friendly ones. It might have been incandescent. Shocked? Well, don’t be. I am not afraid to let the Reston Association know that sometimes replacing a light fixture takes some time and everybody’s going to have to live with the violation for a little while.
I am a rebel. I will wear white after Labor Day if I want. I will serve the wrong wine with fish. I will stand even if the sign says “No Parking or Standing.” You had better watch out for me. A couple of nights ago I actually put out my recycling before the sun had even set. That’s right. People could see my bottles and cans for 40 minutes before the rules allowed it. It makes you wonder if I’m the kind of girl who will actually mix colored and white laundry in the same load.
Wouldn’t you like to know?